For the lazy, here is the summarization of my local AI:

You’d like to have a powerful ability: being able to ask the universe any question in modern English at any time, without limitations or rituals, and receive an answer that’s:

1. Understandable by your current self (no significant changes to physical or mental stability)
2. Delivered within 3600 seconds (an hour) of asking
3. Reformatted if necessary to protect your stability
4. Includes explanations for unknowable questions
5. Avoids circular logic
6. Doesn’t require an unreasonable sacrifice (if a sacrifice is needed, you’ll be informed)
7. Allows transfer of answers to another individual, as long as they can understand the answer and meet the previous conditions.

In essence, you want to have direct access to all knowledge in the universe, without any negative consequences or sacrifices that might harm your well-being or stability.