My ex pestered me for a good while with a fantasy: she wanted me to force her to have sex any day she didn’t want to. I wasn’t exactly eager to try this, but it wasn’t a problem because we were having sex every day.
But the day came, and I said “well, she’s been asking for a while, let’s get this over with”. She didn’t need much convincing, I just grabbed her by the back of her neck and told her we were going to have sex no matter whether she wanted or not and that was it (she was quite submissive in bed).
After we were done I had a weird feeling because that’s not something I like to do, but I thought “at least I’ve fulfilled her fantasy and now she’s happy”, right?
Well, no. She was angry at me and when I told her “but you’ve been asking for this for months!” she answered “yeah, but I wasn’t in the mood for it today!”.
Yeah, I’ve always felt like forced sex sounds hotter than it actually is. It sounds so romantic, and everyone thinks they can get in the mood as soon as their partner wants them, but the reality doesn’t quite line-up the same. A pretty key part of any consensual non-consent is setting up a word to break the scene though, so I dunno if I’d beat yourself up too much about it. If she wasn’t in the mood, she should have let you know.
Basically like she said, you both have to happen to be horny in the moment anyways or it’s just a shit time. Use a safeword to stop when not into it, instead of actually saying stop. It’s usually just a roleplay fetish anyways.
My ex pestered me for a good while with a fantasy: she wanted me to force her to have sex any day she didn’t want to. I wasn’t exactly eager to try this, but it wasn’t a problem because we were having sex every day.
But the day came, and I said “well, she’s been asking for a while, let’s get this over with”. She didn’t need much convincing, I just grabbed her by the back of her neck and told her we were going to have sex no matter whether she wanted or not and that was it (she was quite submissive in bed). After we were done I had a weird feeling because that’s not something I like to do, but I thought “at least I’ve fulfilled her fantasy and now she’s happy”, right?
Well, no. She was angry at me and when I told her “but you’ve been asking for this for months!” she answered “yeah, but I wasn’t in the mood for it today!”.
Yeah, I’ve always felt like forced sex sounds hotter than it actually is. It sounds so romantic, and everyone thinks they can get in the mood as soon as their partner wants them, but the reality doesn’t quite line-up the same. A pretty key part of any consensual non-consent is setting up a word to break the scene though, so I dunno if I’d beat yourself up too much about it. If she wasn’t in the mood, she should have let you know.
Basically like she said, you both have to happen to be horny in the moment anyways or it’s just a shit time. Use a safeword to stop when not into it, instead of actually saying stop. It’s usually just a roleplay fetish anyways.