Kraiden

Ha, jokes on you! I’m playing Oblivion, am over encumbered and am hobbling back to a merchant… which is… better?

Shit, you’re right! I totally missed that!

I find documents in ALL CAPS like that extremely hard to parse, which is why I case corrected the main text. Should have done the rest of it too apparently!

eta: Updated the transcript to hopefully make that clearer

As reported by the authoritative magazine Canadian Weekly World News, U.S. intelligence obtained a 250-page file on the attack by a UFO on a military unit in Siberia.

That reads to me like the author is confirming what was reported by the magazine. It then goes on to document the contents of the file, not what was reported in the article.

Having said that, I seriously doubt the veracity of the KGB documents. I’d put money on this being some kind of cold war psyop hangover, rather than something that actually happened.

Transcript of the interesting bit - Note that the text is JUST a reprint of the article, not the CIA confirming anything:

Country: Russia International Subject: Paper reports alleged evidence on mishap involving ufo Source: Kiev Holos Ukrayiny in Ukrainian 27 Mar 93 P 5

Reprint from the newspaper Ternopil Vechirniy: “Cosmic Revenge”

After Mikhail Gorbachev dissolved, in 1991, the KGB top secret intelligence administration, a lot of material from that department found their way abroad, in particular to the CIA. As reported by the authoritative magazine Canadian Weekly World News, U.S. intelligence obtained a 250-page file on the attack by a UFO on a military unit in Siberia. The file contains not only many documentary photographs and drawings, but also testimonies by actual participants in the events. One of the CIA representatives referred to this case as “a horrific picture of revenge on the part of extraterrestrial creatures, a picture that makes one’s blood freeze.”

According to the KGB materials, a quite low-flying spaceship in the shape of a saucer appeared above a military unit that was conducting routine training maneuvers. For unknown reasons, somebody unexpectedly launched a surface-to-air missile and hit the UFO. It fell to earth not far away, and five short humanoids with “large heads and large black eyes” emerged from it.

It is stated in the testimonies by the two soldiers who remained alive that, after freeing themselves from the debris, the aliens came close together and then “merged into a single object that acquired a spherical shape.” That object began to buzz and hiss sharply, and then became brilliant white. In a few seconds, the spheres grew much bigger and exploded by flaring up with an extremely bright light. At that very instant, 23 soldiers who had watched the phenomenon turned into stone poles. Only two soldiers who stood in the shade and were less exposed to the luminous explosion survived.

The KGB report goes on to say that the remains of the UFO and the “petrified soldiers” were transferred to a secret scientific research institution near Moscow. Specialists assume that a source of energy that is still unknown to earthlings instantly changed the structure of the soldiers’ living organisms, having transformed it into a substance whose molecular composition is no different from that of limestone.

A CIA representative stated: "If the KGB file corresponds to reality, this is an extremely menacing case. The aliens possess such weapons and technology that go beyond all our assumptions. They can stand up for themselves if attacked.