Thank you, I didn’t know that.

No, the catch is that it isn’t real.

@ me when it’s rolling off the production line.
Until then…

it will have
you will be able to

Hahaha relatable

lol you didn’t read the article

Regardless of their intentions, you can do better.

It is hard on both accounts, yes.
And also: it’s okay to accept people who don’t want a deeper relationship. You can have different friendships at different levels.

I’ve been barely eating anyway. Nobody would even notice.

Nah, i tell my bois all about it and they talk to me about it.

I am unironically winning so hard at this and it’s going super well [in general].
The future is bright, friends.

…Except for *gestures vaguely*, of course.

I already left, enjoy it for me.

When you ask the universe for a sign but it’s got jokes:

And organized religion, as well.

I need to see an anotomical analysis of this man.

Yes, of course. It’s a heavily generalized statement.

My ability to work well under pressure is to ignore you pressuring me and simply continue doing my work.

A Cessna is also a flying car and they’re easy to operate.

Changing your tire sizing only changes the speedo and odo a few percent. You can usually just ignore it unless you’re making drastic changes.

Also perfect for SFWPorn.
Sub was hilarious.

Animals can’t consent—police dogs are conscripts.
But sure, go off, queen. 🙌

I’ve called for an ambulance, to report a crashed car, to report a flipped semi, and to report a reckless driver.
I’ve never called for the cops.

There are other emergency services than the police.

Cops responding to all calls is a failure of the system—they are a catch-all.

ACAB