The problem is far greater than that.

Well then I guess I’ve gone full circle then haven’t I?

I’m a philosopher. I can confirm the biologist seems right

Treat them like snakes. Grab the neck as close to below the head as possible. In desperation you can subdue two at once. It will be savagely unpleasant. If your grip strength and stamina is enough, you can faint them in a minute or so.

Ideally you grab one at a time with both hands. Even the average human is strong enough to snap the neck in seconds. Grab snap repeat. Just stay focused. Grab snap repeat.

Look at me, says the optometrist.

Oh, it’s an hour later as your loved ones in the car don’t make it and you’re told your injuries are life changing. Crushed with pain and guilt, all for swerving for the one fucking squirrel exactly as you’ve always been told not to.

Wondering if it’s weird is weird. Go enjoy your park.

They are absolutely smart and dexterous enough.

That’s a good point about the sea corroding everything though, they’d have to move to land for industry.

It would start with farming. They already use tools, building fish and mollusc farms would be a likely start.

They can scurry across land in short bursts already. Bringing salt so they can explore freshwater streams and rivers seems possible. Digging canals they can travel in up further into the land seems possible.

They actually wouldn’t even need to mine, humans have already done most of that already. They just need to salvage.

You fundamentaly misunderstand evolution if you think a bird wing would evolve into a hand.

You’re thinking about it like intelligent design. This would be a good idea, so it will surely happen.

Evolution requires many generations of slight variations each being slightly beneficial over the last.

Crows would sooner develop hand like feet than lose their wings.

Edit:

Also, we’re talking about mining? Let’s put a crow wing and octopus tentacle in an arm wrestling match. The octopus crushes the whole crow, bones and all, with one tentacle. It’s not even close. Birds are fucking fragile.

You underestimate how important hands are to the human dominance. Cephalopods have tentacles, and 8 of them. That’s the only thing even slightly comparable to hands. Beaks and bird feet developing industry? Not happening.

While dolphins and crows are as intelligent as your average American, they simply lack the means to manipulate the world in a way that leads to technological development.

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They wish. They aren’t building shit with those flippers. It’s absolutely the cephalopods next. Dolphins might be like the horses to the octopus.

Now I want to make this. A brain made of ribbons of strawberry ice cream, with a thread of sour lemon in the middle and tiny pop rock neurons.

Don’t waste food.

A heist is when the goods are stolen without being noticed until after the fact.

Piracy is not a heist.

If a recipe calls for four cloves, say fuck it and bang in a whole head. Cuz garlics fucking good for ya.

Chess takes lots of time to get very good. Any actual scientist, professor or engineer doesn’t have the time.