For fellow Americans just waking up, observe how much better this sounds than ‘zoodles’

(and don’t @ me about chiffonades and spiralizing and julienning. actually do, spiralizers kick ass)

I see edit 2 and you ain’t in the ER yet homie!! Get the fuck in there and we’ll talk when you get back if they don’t solve your mystery.

Super briefly, Long COVID can cause clotting shit that a bunch of society wants to overlook, and damage to the erectile tissue can come with unlucky COVID infections as well. Just keep that in your head for the moment.

Now fucking go. All our hope is with you and your future boners.