so this one girl, i’ll call her ella (19f) is transphobic, homophobic
she lashes out a lot, exaggerates things, and cannot read social cues. however, she has autism and adhd and is mentally much younger.
she also gets mad when i call a trans man “he” and she says “SHE’S A GIRL EVEN THO SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN LOL”
she says she got her views from her parents and refuses to change because “it’s the way i am”. for someone who was mentally 19, I’d cut contact, but she’s mentally a lot younger.
No chance in hell it’s linear, the gap would definitely change with age. But, as an adult with ADHD, I have certainly always felt a little younger than all of my peers… obviously anecdotal, but 🤷♂️
More anecdotal stuff but from lurking in autism spaces I’ve picked up that the feeling ‘younger’ or like a child compared to your peers thing is also felt by a lot of autistic people.
Personally, I’m starting to think that it’s just one of the ways that our brains deal with feeling like an ‘other’ compared to general society. When it’s clear to you that your mind just isn’t working in the same way, certain things just don’t come as easily to you and that something is definitely ‘wrong’, I guess it makes sense that our minds would register that as also being ‘lesser’ or not as developed.
I know that my whole life before I started asking certain questions, I’ve always felt like I’m still a child in the company of men in particular. That’s how my brain registered my particular brand of ‘otherness’ my whole life. Which might indicate some sort of internalized misogyny or something. But I’m starting to think that feeling like a child or immature in some way is probably an almost universal thing that people who don’t fit in with everyone else feel at some point.
Yeah, I should’ve looked it up first, Russell Barkley says it’s 30% (I got a digit correct yay!). I know what you mean, all my classmates somehow seemed much more mature than me and I had no way to express that feeling back then.
Hm, I guess dealing with parental quirks tilted me the other way. I feel now like I want to be perpetually 20, but I had a chronically depressed single/divorced mom and an alcoholic dad (I’m pretty sure he was self medicating for his undiagnosed ADHD, and have come to terms with all that went on). So yeah, I parented my parents.
Do you have more info on this?
https://honestlyadhd.com/adhd-executive-age/
This seems like a good overview.
I was hoping more for studies that illustrate this, not just an article summarizing it all
All I can do is point you to Dr Barkley’s work (he’s a trusted authority on ADHD) and the references at the bottom. I know this isn’t ideal but I am utterly incapable of reading entire actual scientific papers, it’s a miracle when I manage to read articles like this from start to finish - which I know is an issue. Which is also why I tried to hedge my words in my original post (there seems to be evidence).
I’m 54 and have ADHD. It may ever regress. Well according to my wife who says I act like teenage boy sometimes … especially with the filter turned off.