I have two void brothers.

Booker

• Book
• Booger
• Bookbookbookbookbookbookbookabookabooka
• Booker DeWitt (his full name) when he’s being very handsome.

Hollow

• Holla at your homeboy
• Scaredycat
• Boy
• Fatty

Both of them also get called

• Mister Man
• Void (said as many times as feels right)
• Stinkybutt
• Boysboysboysboysboysboysboys (into perpetuity)
• Handsome

Two cats. Some of these are translated from my first language (I use it interchangeably with English with these two…)

The calico: Mew

• Meow
• Meeeeoooooooow (when she is sad & I have to call her)
• Ms. Majestic (or something like that)
• Big Mew
• House tiger

The void: Tommy

• Thomas (his official name, when he’s majestic)
• tom (when he’s derpy)
• ROTUND/Massive object
• Le creature
• Fat Tommy/Tommy Fat/My-Fat-Tom/My-Tom-Fat (yup it’s just shuffling words)

Both:

• Massive fluffs
• Le chonkers (or something like that; one came in as a skinny stray & the other was a baby, but they are both very well-fed now)

Tommy is on a diet I promise

Scout

Who 99% of the time is Scooty.

She’s occasionally called: Scootybutt, Scooterella, Scoots, Scootyscoots*, Scuttles, Scuttlebutt, Scoutster (only ever used by my mom lol), Scootypuff Senior (a la Futurama, but she’s too old to be Junior. Scooty is 12.)

(*Edit: I should add that when using this one, it’s always pronounced as “ScootySCOOOOOOOOOOOTS” in imitation of our friend who coined this while drunk.)

We pretty much only call her Scout at the vet

I’ll add a picture when I get another break from work

Edit: pic tax

Looking guilty after I caught her licking a plastic bag

Asking for attention/if she can steal my chocolate croissant

“Helping” me work from home

Sushi

My wife and daughter call her su or more commonly su-su

If she’s in trouble then it’s Sushi Maki Roll <Our last name>

I call her Stink Butt because she takes the smelliest poops I’ve ever had the displeasure of smelling and then doesn’t bury them in the litter.

Name: Nora

Nicknames: Nörchen, Norora Borealis, The Baby, Guardgoyle, My Darling, Mürzel

This is Zoe, aka Princess Zoe Peanut Butter Garbanzo

She got the name peanut butter from a delivery guy one day who was helping move in a new couch. She just went up to him friendly as can be and the delivery guy just went “hey peanut butter” and the nickname stuck.

I had a cat named Buddy, and he would get up to a lot of mischief so we’d often refer to him as “the monster”. Once you start calling your cat “Buddy monster” you’ll find you’re a very short distance from “monster of buddies I’m pulling your strings”.

Here’s Buddy after wrecking his Christmas-themed RV:

Possum. Her nicknames are:

• Poss
• Poss-cat
• Poss-kitty
• Poss-ghetti and meatballs

Name: Blu

Nicknames:

• Blauzi
• Baunzi
• Stinki
• alte Kackbrazze

Name: Emily

Nickname: Emmerly. Sometimes I sing “Emmerly and Ivory” to her 😁

Name: Charlotte

Nickname: Char-Char

I also refer to them as “The Sisters” or “The Fabulous Staredycat Sisters” since they are in fact sisters from the same litter and love staring at me, visitors, and each other 😄

A rare moment of them getting along outside of having fun playfighting:

Left: Alcatraz

Alcatraz became Darkness became Dennis. A three year old saying Darkness sounds like Dennis. His name is Dennis now.

Nicknames: Supermassive black hole, big black ass

Right: Ipso Facto

Nicknames: Ipso Catso, Ipso Fatso, jerk, Ipso Untrusto,