Mine varies from like 4 to -5, with random flucturations into -7 to -8. I’d say it averages out at like -1.
I honestly don’t know–because I’m a faulty narrator. I dont know which issues are real, or which are in my head. What’s for certain, though, is I never got the support I needed, and I’m barely accepted as a woman.
I’d give it a -5. I have a chronic autoimmune condition that started very early in my life, and caused me problem after problem.
Trying to tell all the adults around me that something is wrong, and then being yelled at, being told “it’s all in your head” “you’re just looking for attention”, etc… not great.
Not saying that this next part would “excuse” it, but it’d be one thing if it stopped after I was officially diagnosed. It did not. Instead, I was told by my father “You’re using your disease as a crutch, stop”… My mom started to turn around for the most part (there were still exceptions, but other than those cases it got better).
After I moved out, I cut off contact with my father because of the hate I’d get from him. I was hoping that perhaps one day we’d be able to finally turn things around… Last year he died in a very tragic accident. So I guess I’ll never know if amends could have been made or not.
To this day I still claim that I was robbed at the chance of a normal childhood, although what “normal” looks like… I don’t know. I’d rate it lower, but I didn’t get the physical abuse, just the emotional part of it. My brother on the other hand was the exact opposite. Us combined, definitely makes a -10. There were positives and good moments of course, but the bad really outweighs the good when looking back.
2, my parents were cool when i was little. my mom got sick when i was eight y/o. i suffered because of it for a decade.
if it wasn’t for my mum, it would at least be a 4 though :)
or rather, a 6, my dad was pretty cool :D
-5. I had one parent that was not great, and one that was a doormat. It wasn’t any of the usual suspects, and I would say that that parent is eccentric and oblivious more than a bad person, but in the end I think I came out with some trauma.
School was really hard early on (because I’m also weird), while the parental issues grew more severe later on.
-9. Father was an abusive alcoholic monster who ruined friendships and activities like baseball by fighting with parents early on in life. My mother was/is a workaholic with a tendency to be neglectful of emotions as I got older. I was often left alone to care for my younger brothers. Brothers who left to their own devices became little monsters themselves by falling into drugs and alcohol both before 14.
My childhood ended at 14. I’m 33 now at probably the lowest point of my life. Because, except for my Dad, we still live together. All those years in between 14 and now I learned to cope by reducing myself to nothing. Be quiet. Don’t move. Stay in my room. Don’t be a burden. Unfortunately I’m at two extremes where I feel safest in that reduced state but everything in me wants to leave. Even if it means living in the streets. That’s my trap. That’s how my childhood has me by the throat even now.
+5. My parents had a healthy relationship and didn’t divorce until well after I moved out. We were lower middle class, but in the first world that means you have a pretty good life. I’m an autist so social life was a nightmare, and while I didn’t think adults were going to abuse me I did think their authority and institutions were illegitimate which caused some conflict.
It really depends on the reference. 0 today is not the same as 0 was when I grew up. By the standards then, it was probably a 4, but by today’s standards it would be in the negatives, -2or so.
I would rate it a 0 or -1. My therapist would rate it a -9 or -10.
Interesting that your therapist is adamant that your conditions were worse than you perceive them to be.
I’ve never had a therapist, but I had a traumatic upbringing. I’d rate my childhood -5; what would a therapist think of my past, I wonder?
Well, I thought my upbringing was normal and that everybody was physically and emotionally abused. It turns out that this is incorrect.
Every child’s experience is normal to them until they start comparing notes, often later in life
Why would being spoiled rate highly? It’s a bad thing.
I’d rate mine a 10 but because of independence. My parents gave me both the trust and the skills to do what I wanted to do. I biked all over town, didn’t need to check in outside of mealtimes, read the whole library, went to museums and concerts and dances. I taught myself to type and then to program. It was fantastic.
I wasn’t spoiled, though. We didn’t have any spare money, so anything I wanted to do I had to pay for myself; I was babysitting and mowing lawns from a young age. I had my chores at home including taking care of my brothers. I had food, if not my favorites, and clothes, though mostly hand-me-downs from cousins. Any electronics in the house were shared, and either bought used or received as gifts from most distant relatives. But stuff isn’t what makes childhood great: friends, freedom, and family are.
Fact that might be useful… research varies on whether psychological abuse or sexual abuse is the most destructive in childhood. Psychological changes how you think, how you attribute meaning to events and you’re ability to regulate your emotions. It’s not just words
4 with ambivalence. One parent was no good. The other was good but didn’t defend us much.
10, hands down. I was (and still am) raised by a single dad. He’s great. He’s non-monogamous/non-committal (or just aloof, you could say), so at home I’ve always had all of his attention to myself. I’m a total daddy’s girl.
Damn, that’s a good question. Like a 6 or 7 on this scale, all told? Parents were good, wasn’t spoiled but didn’t want for much, some tension with my dad at times/impact of necessary absences due to military lifestyle, but he was generally a good dude.
Idk - I look back on my childhood fondly more or less.
+3 or so, benign neglect, with unavoidable trauma. My dad died when I was a teenager and that sucked, my mom fell apart, also she was diagnosed bipolar and I didn’t enjoy being a child at all, but do honestly believe my mom did her best, and we were fed, housed, schooled, (ETA including sports! She was big on physical fitness, and that is something that absolutely ended up improving my adult life, once I recovered from my own disordered/restrictive eating) and not interfered with much beyond that.
What score would the over-involved helicopter parents of my kids’ friends land on this scale, though? Those kids aren’t spoiled exactly but certainly not neglected.
Without delving, I’m guessing a solid -6 on that scale, here. I’ve done a fairly bang-up job of climbing up from that point, but w/o health insurance, etc., that’s gonna be a challenge for the ages.
